Professional tennis has stabbed you in the heart. What can you love now?
Roger Federer's elegant forelock
Whatever happens in the coming weeks, Roger's forelock is still graceful and pure. This perfect, boyish swish of hair will never rip out our hearts, throw them in the dirty, spit on them, and stamp them into a mushy, muddy, bloody, reeking wreck.
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Croquet
Let's face it, no one's gonna bother match-fixing croquet any time soon. Tennis was your wild and exciting lover – but you can trust croquet. You can settle down with croquet, raise a few kids, and have someone to talk to when you're old.
Dan Kitwood / Getty Images
JR P
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